A calm, peaceful scene that doesn't always work
No matter how busy I think I am, there is apparently enough time to worry endlessly about things I have no control over.
For instance, on a recent trip to check the ol’ blood pressure there were enough minutes beforehand to worry about the reading being too high. Thinking I was being wise, I tried to envision calming scenery and peaceful surroundings. Didn’t work. I now take a pill to bring down the higher-than-ever reading, and I get to stand “calmly” in line to pick up the prescription.
It seems like no matter how hard we try to slow down our racing, worrisome thoughts the worse they get. Mine go from meeting work deadlines, to what’s for supper (and do I need to go to the grocery story first?), to should I throw in a load of laundry while the dishes soak. But then I remember that the dryer still has its quirks and sometimes needs to be opened up by my better half who manually gets the drum spinning.
That, of course, brings the thought: Do we need a new dryer or can we use this one until it falls apart?
Naturally that leads to financial concerns. When is the worse time for an appliance to go toes up? I know the answer to that one – it’s during the winter months, the worst of the winter months when the power bill heads toward outer space. Hey, once your watt and therm usage pull free from the gravitational pull of the earth it’s anyone’s guess as to how high it’ll go. That’s when I remind myself, as I try to calm down and turn off the worry faucet that I can’t even dry clothes outside for a few months. Don’t even get me started on how I loathe going to the Laundromat. I’m thankful we have them but I don’t want to go there. Ever.
As I try to stomp down the above thoughts my mind begins to ramble toward concerns about family and friends and their various illnesses and other problems. Many of us take on the burdens our loved ones are going through, and while it’s a sure sign of compassion it also means adding on to our own problems. For most of us it’s downright impossible to turn off thoughts of concern for parents, grandparents, children, grandchildren and everyone else we care deeply about. It can mean we add more on the to-do list which wears us out physically, then we stay up late worrying about not meeting our obligations. We wonder: if we really love that person how can we let them down?
As I write this and try to come up with answers, I have to admit I have none. I pray throughout the day, every day, and still I take on more than I can handle. It’s a daily struggle, a nightly one too, as I and so many of those I know can’t sleep because of the racing thoughts they can’t turn off.
How I wish there was a pill for that problem. That would be worth standing in line for.
Margi
